Memories of Spain

While each mistake I make, makes me stronger
And everyone of those tears I cried washes away the sorrow
Their tracks show on my soul, engraved there by the pain
And burned into my memory,

Let me forget, let me move on, let me be brave
That old cliché, forgive and escape from the hurt
Took forever to understand, I do it now, so wisdom prevails?
Or am I just hoping and praying and waiting for change?

How can I forgive that which sneaks into my mind
with the slightest picture it encroaches and overwhelms
taking its place as if it belonged, in my thoughts
From the past, song, and perfume
Triggers a memory, a simple colour combined with a smell,
transporting me there, to where I truly can escape.

A smile remembering the first scents of Spain
acrid black tobacco, strong coffee and humidity
surrounding me like a blanket, lingering wafts of my favourite
Dama de Noche, the night flower in my mothers San Antonio garden;
In the streets Patchuli and leather bracelets; love beads and Hierbas Ibicencas;
I am back, in the 70's, Mallorca and Ibiza, Tenerife and Barcelona
What longings I feel, deep in my soul, memories of music and friends,
dancing till dawn, loving the fashions and trends
Oh islands of Spain, I will never forget you, part of my soul
Sewn like threads blowing in that beachy wind
Lost as I am today, this moment, I can escape to you
I can revisit you, I can be there again, o favourite places of my mind

Tho I can travel today, they have gone forever, as they were
So simple, uncomplicated, almost a blur
But they are as clear as now when I hear a song, or smell a perfume
I can be happy this moment, burdens away, peace today
Forgiveness and prayer, my true salvations, love and mindfulness
I can have it all, how brilliant that joy, and light is everywhere
I am free, I can dance again in the moonlight

Forty something

The day was nothing special
just another birthday I suppose
I wasn't falling apart yet
Just a little uneasy as it goes

I may forget names, phone numbers or dates
But remember the password
For the forum on losing weight

My keys fall into voids
and places unknown
Like socks and favorite tops
That disappear on their own

Nail files, creams, lotions and things
Get found in the fridge freezer mixed with the greens
Canned goods in the trunk didn't go sour at least
Husband shakes his head though, afraid of the new beast

While driving to work I wonder if I left the garage door open
Then ask myself why is it that other drivers now behave like jerks?
My blood starts to boil as surrounding me now
Are tailgater's, cutter offers and speeders that forget
What to do at a 4 way stop

Black spidery things begin sprouting under my chin
A sudden intolerance to tonic and gin
What more awaits me as I creep up in years?
A TV commercial that leaves me in tears

Just found the watch I replaced months ago
In a pile of mail stashed under the couch

Books on health, growth and spirituality
Line my bookshelves as I search
At 5am, my spirit quizzes me on destiny and purpose
when before I slept in

What a journey it is as I start to accept
Confusion reigns now but humor gives release
Meditation, deep breathing and green tea give me peace
But patience and tolerance seem out of my reach

Wisdom

At fifteen my heart was set on learning;
At thirty I stood firm;
At forty I had no more doubts;
At fifty I knew the mandate of heaven;
At sixty my ear was obedient;
At seventy I could follow my heart's desire without transgressing the norm.

Confucius