Saturday, July 18, 2009

Invasion of the Pesky Flies

This morning we woke up to my kitchen window swarming in flies. Yuck! On the inside of the window. No, not the outside, that's right folks, the rotten, stinkin, dirty little bleepers found a small opening in the window that houses our summer air conditioning.

That's correct, for those of you that thought we only had snow, and winter, and minus 35 Celsius. There is a season between snow, torrential rain and thunderstorms with marble sized hail, (up till yesterday), that begins sometime in what is supposed to be summer. Intolerable prairie heat blasting everywhere, so yes, you actually need air conditioning in your house and your car. Unless you are one of those people that enjoys trickles of perspiration running down parts of your body, randomly. I am not one of those people.

But, I digress, husband installed it this year in June but we have discovered that there are a few little unseen gaps. So there were flies everywhere this morning. Where did they come from? Why from one day to the next were we invaded by flies?

I told dear husband, and he, being a smart guy insisted there had to be a source, rotten food, more than likely, that was attracting them. Horrified, I bellowed. "There is NO rotten food in the kitchen!" And there was no smell, at least inside there wasn't. Anxious to get to the bottom of it I went outside and sure enough, under the airconditioning unit, in one of my bottle recycling bins, under a ton of bottles, there was the culprit. As I pulled out bunches of bottles, I was greeted with more flies and the stench of rotting something.........OMG, whew, rancid, putrid, can't describe the sight at the bottom. Let's just say it was not immobile.

I screamed! "Who put garbage in my recycling bin!!!!" Husband came out of his garage cave and told me, with a matter-of-fact tone, that he had instructed our guests at the last BBQ (Canada Day) to put garbage in the green bin. I looked at him in disbelief, feeling rage overtaking my body, then I realized it was pointless to blame, after all, we have 3 green bins, so I guess people got confused. Of course, nobody checked after the party, or cleaned it out, just kept stacking bottles on top, unaware, of the impending creation of an entire ecosystem that said neglect created, innocently below the airconditioning contraption, creating access to the inside where we live, eat and sleep with, OMG, our mouths open when some of us, uh, snore, unintentionally of course. I will never sleep the same again. Surely a fly in your mouth would wake you up right? Please let it be so. Ugh!

Oh well, again off on a tangent of doom. So, I cleaned up the mess, sprayed the bin with plenty of water and swished and swished. Most of the dead flies inside the house were killed with the fly swatter and my handy dandy Dyson animal sucked them all up. The problem, I considered later, was when I saw my fourteen year old running around the house with the extendable hose sucking up live ones. "No, no, can't suck up live ones! What if they lay eggs in my beautiful Dyson." Horrible thoughts of crawling maggots inside my top-of-the-line, Rolls Royce vacuum, invaded my head.

So he took off the bagless canister and we both peered at it. "Ah, mom, um, where are all the dead flies?"he asked. I couldn't see any either, and we must have sucked up at least 30 of them, seemed like 50, could have been more.

"They must have been pulverized," I said, "Yes, that vacuum is amazing." The thought that they may be trapped inside somewhere, setting up house and laying eggs, tormented me. But only for a second, can't think about that, not in my Dyson. Sleeping with my mouth open was almost a happy thought by comparison!

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