Saturday, July 18, 2009

Pesky Fly Story Part 2
Just when I was ready to call it a night, a couple of flies started buzzing around my glass of white zinfandel wine. Fed up after a few fruitless swats, I dashed upstairs in search of the handy, dandy fly swatter that had been used quite a bit today by various members of our family. I ran back downstairs and started what became a one hour journey into a flying nightmare. Excuse the fly pun, it was actually me that was flying around, chasing the flies that seemed to be duplicating themselves. For each one that I swatted, another two or three would replace them.

My anxiety kicked in at this point, it was after all almost midnight, my husband had gone to bed and so I had to dance around the basement, quietly, insane thoughts creeping their way into my mind as I started to remember all the horror bug movies I had seen throughout my life. It was as if they were all calling each other and coming to torment me. "Hey guys, lets make this lady crazy, make her think we are taking over, buzz, buzz."

Soon my daughter came down to say goodnight, saw how much fun I was having, and we began fighting over the fly swatter and jumping around, me picking up the dead flies with kleenex.

I forgot to mention that after the glass of wine was done, I grabbed a beer. Well after a fly had stopped on the can, I wiped it profusely before opening it, and then popped off the metal tab and took a big slurp. I deserved it after all the fly swattin, jumpin and arm swinging. It was then that my straight A, very smart daughter advised me that whenever flies stop and rub their hands together, they are actually pooping and throwing up on the surface they landed on. I was in no shape to wonder whether or not she had made it up, however, my beer suddenly lost some of its appeal.

Well it must be time for bed now, I may tape my mouth closed first, it does appear that we have seen the last one. I sure hope so, I think I might have nightmares tonight, or flymares......gosh I really am losing it!

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